Now that the stock market is back down to 1997 levels, some friends of mine in the banking sector sent this example of gallows humor over.
CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.
P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER -- What my investments have made me.
STANDARD & POOR -- Your life, in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST -- ***** who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION -- The 20-day period after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO! -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo! @ $240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past-year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.