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Stupid Executives Should Be Fired

April 1, 2015
Companies should stop tolerating managers who treat their employees and suppliers with respect; that kind of stupidity is a fool's game.

A potential risk is lurking for opportunistic organizations losing sales. That is, there is a danger for companies that are making stupid decisions, especially by their executives.

For example, executives who are reluctant to lay off large numbers of employees to improve short-term, bottom-line profits should be fired by their board of directors. After all, later on when their business improves they can always hire new employees and train them. It is a bogus notion that retaining employees with years of knowledge and experience makes good sense. Rubbish. Employees are easily replaceable.

Another example. Executives who do not beat up on their vendors and squeeze them by demanding lower prices should also be fired. Suppliers are a dime a dozen. Who cares if they go bankrupt from your crushing them? You can always find another supplier.

Another example. Executives who do not gouge their most loyal customers with huge price increases should also be fired. Successful executives know that you can also further increase profits by reducing services to loyal customers. It saves unnecessary costs. Customers who are loyal are basically customers that are timid and weak, and they will tolerate any abuse because they are afraid and insecure to begin purchasing from a competitor.

There are so many examples as to why stupid executives should be fired. Here are some more.

Executives should cut out all research and development. That is so obvious. R&D is basically a bunch of scientists playing with test tubes. They still think they are in grade school doing a science project.

Another way to boost profits is for executives to eliminate all employee travel and employee training. Most employee travel is really just a smokescreen for them to party hardy and run up big tabs at restaurants. And employee training gains nothing because during training courses most employees are solving crossword or Sudoko puzzles, or they are looking up sports scores on their mobile smart phones when the instructor thinks they are paying attention.

Another good way to both save costs and increase sales is to lower incentive commissions to the sales force. Sales people behave like hamsters on a spinning wheel in a cage by running faster so they can make enough income to feed their families. Just make them run faster. Any executive who does not reduce their sales force’s compensation bonuses should be fired.

Most executives do not understand that these examples are proven ways to improve bottom-line profits and make themselves look like stars to their shareholders and board of directors.

And if you believe what I have written here, read the first letter of each word in the first sentence of this blog. You will see that together they spell A-p-r-i-l F-o-o-l-s!

About the Author

Gary Cokins | Founder and CEO

Gary Cokins is the founder and CEO of Analytics-Based Performance Management LLC at www.garycokins.com located in Cary, North Carolina. He is an internationally recognized expert, speaker, and author in advanced cost management and performance improvement systems.

After earning an industrial engineering degree from Cornell University in 1971 and an MBA from Northwestern University's Kellogg School of Management, Cokins began his career as a financial controller and operations manager with FMC-LinkBelt Corp. For 15 years, he was a consultant at Deloitte, KPMG Peat Marwick, and Electronic Data Systems (EDS), where he headed EDS's Cost Management Consulting Services. He recently concluded a 16-year career with SAS, a leader in business analytics and enterprise performance management software.

He was the lead author of the acclaimed An ABC Manager's Primer (ISBN 0-86641-220-4), sponsored by the Institute of Management Accountants (IMA). His Activity-Based Cost Management: An Executive's Guide (ISBN 0-471-44328-X) recently ranked as the best-selling book of 151 titles on the topic. His other books include Activity-Based Cost Management: Making It Work (ISBN 0-7863-0740-4) and Activity-Based Cost Management in Government (ISBN 1-056726-110-8). His latest books are Performance Management: Finding the Missing Pieces to Close the Intelligence Gap (ISBN 0-471-57690-5) and Performance Management: Integrating Strategy Execution, Methodologies, Risk, and Analytics (ISBN 978-0-470-44998-1).

Cokins participates and serves on a number of committees, including the AICPA, CIMA, CAM-I, the International Federation of Accountants (IFAC), and the Institute of Management Accountants (IMA). He can be reached at [email protected].

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